Thoughts Create Reality

Written by Reeta Luthra - http://reetaluthra.com

A fundamental truth in life is that our thoughts determine how we actually behave and interact with others.

We've all had days when we feel top of the world. We've also had days when misery jumps aboard. Sometimes misery stays longer than we'd like. We don't want misery. We haven't asked for it. So how can we turn things around? 

 Our thoughts run on instructions

"I don't have a head for numbers"... "Nobody likes me"... "My wife will see I am not good enough for her"... "I must finish my plate because children are dying in Africa"... "A girl needs a man to support her"... "I'm not important enough"...

We grow up bombarded with values and beliefs that we accept without question. As life goes on, some of our beliefs dissolve while others stay just as they are for whatever reason. Given the appropriate stimulus, new beliefs also form - both positive and negative.

The things we believe become the tinted lens through which we interpret events and opportunities and through which we evaluate our next move. The things we believe become instructions that our thoughts use as their blueprint to think.

The quality of the thoughts we have subconsciously make us interpret and respond to events in such a way that we continue to validate these thoughts to ourselves. Our body language helpfully joins in and communicates these thoughts to others and this in turn influences the way they respond to us.

The longevity of beliefs

When told something as an eight year old child, we can carry that message through to adult life and continue to interpret through the eyes of a child - even though the message may no longer be appropriate or relevant.

Susan was repeatedly told as a child that she was clumsy. As a teenager she excelled at gymnastics and dance and had great coordination. However, her belief system never made the connection between "Gymnast Susan" and "Clumsy Susan" so the original message stuck with her. Now as an adult, when she is in a situation where she is nervous or feels she must impress, her mind automatically kick-starts her insecurities so she still feels like a clumsy child and this is reflected in her behaviour as she stumbles, knocking things over.

Once you understand that your thoughts impact your actions and behaviours, you can start to identify the thought patterns responsible.

Recurring patterns in your life often indicate underlying conflicts in your beliefs and values and addressing the conflict breaks the pattern. It is possible to break the pattern at any age even if you have held an unhelpful belief since childhood.

When there is a battle between logic and emotion, emotion usually wins

Emotions form the backdrop to the thoughts you have. Emotions are driven by the subconscious mind and this part of you is an extremely powerful driver. The subconscious mind can only "talk" to you through emotions.

If you ignore your emotions, as so many of us do, you continue to repeat the same unhelpful behaviours over and over again.

Example:

John dreams of a family and considers himself loyal with integrity. He commits himself completely to a relationship (because he is loyal and has integrity). They move in together but there is unease.

He ignores this unease, not realising that this represents a conflict going on inside him. The relationship requires him to give stable emotional support but deep down he greatly values freedom. To him, freedom equals no emotional responsibility.

He struggles with this conflict for a few years, not really understanding what the conflict is. All he knows is that he is unhappy and assumes that he is with the wrong woman or that the timing isn't right. Eventually, there is a painful breakup. To numb the pain, he immediately enters a new relationship. He wants a family, he is loyal and he has integrity... so he commits to this new relationship and the same pattern occurs again.

John has had four serious relationships in the space of ten years. He is completely aware he loves to be in a relationship but his beliefs about himself have created thoughts that impact his behaviour. He is distant and runs away when the relationship needs emotional stability. He is completely unaware of his inner conflict: Wanting a family versus wanting freedom from emotional responsibility.

John is out of alignment with himself and as well as the traumatic effect this has on the women he is involved with, over time the resulting build up of stress could lead to illness.

Emotions reflect your values and beliefs

As you bury your emotions, you neglect what is truly important to you. Logical values are not necessarily the same as Emotional values.

John's behaviour is directed by the thoughts he has and the conflict within. Burying his desire for a family will make him unhappy. Burying his need for emotional freedom will also make him unhappy.

In his coaching sessions, John analysed both values and discovered that his need for emotional freedom was the result of a painful break-up with his first girl-friend when he was a teenager. As we worked through that pain, John found that he had put up a self-defence mechanism to protect himself from being "dumped". Subconsciously, his thoughts were directing him to end a relationship before his partner did.

John's behaviour was being controlled by an instruction (belief) that had been generated by one long-gone incident and was now sabotaging his ability to maintain a relationship.

This illustrates the power of emotional values. Emotional values have a direct line into the subconscious mind, impacting your thoughts and hence your behaviour.

The events and conditioning of your past do not have to hold the blueprint of the shape of your future.

If you have any questions, please contact me. You will be under no obligation and your call is treated in complete confidence.