It’s estimated IBS affects around 1 in 5 people. Even though it’s fairly common, it’s one of those things that people don’t like to talk about.

If you suffer from IBS, you know how stressful the symptoms are. They’re also very real and physical. You can’t get rid of the nausea and bloating etc simply by sitting there thinking happy thoughts.

Yet however, your body didn’t decide one day to become “irritable” and start showing these symptoms. They’ve developed over a period of time and in my work, what I do is find and address the psychological and emotional factors that created the environment for your body to become more susceptible to illness, including showing the symptoms of IBS.

Through addressing what I call “root” stress, your internal environment strengthens as the original stress and traumas are resolved and released.

Diane (not her real name) asked me to share her story with my readers.

Diane sought help for stress, IBS and incontinence. She is 56 years old with four children, two of them with special needs. Even though she had been divorced for six years, there were ongoing  financial disputes with her ex-husband.

Prolonged Stress

It turned out that her physical issues had started nearly twelve years ago, about a year after discovering her husband was having an affair. She was financially dependent on her husband as she had been expected to give up her secretarial job after marriage. At the time of seeing me, Diane had not worked in 25 years and had no confidence in her ability to get a job.

His high profile, the needs of her children and her dependency on him forced her to turn a blind eye to his affair and quietly suffer the mental abuse by both him and his family for several years. Finally, her own family, worried by her bouts of depression, convinced her to separate from him and eventually they divorced.

“I’ve divorced him but he still won’t let me go”

As she discussed that period in her life, her fingers tore a tissue to shreds and her voice dripped with bitterness and venom. Her words were angry, “He has fed me so much sh!t and I’ve just had to take it. I’ve had to hold it all in for the sake of my children. I simply can’t take it anymore. I’ve divorced him but he still won’t let me go. He’s taken away my life, my job, I can’t work or make my own decisions and there’s nothing I can do to excrete him from my life.”

As we dealt with her trauma, she made the connection between her unreleased emotional pressure and the physical problems she was having. The IBS and incontinence were reflecting her state of mind.

Diane was dedicated to freeing herself of her past and worked hard to deal with her confused and often conflicting emotions. Her efforts paid off and she found independence and a confidence she thought she had lost. She also no longer suffers with IBS, incontinence or the other issues she had.

Diane wants to share her experience with others and says:

“I foolishly allowed my identity to be determined by somebody else. I was as helpless as a baby and in fact had to wear a ‘nappy’ for many years. Being in denial gave me what I thought was an easier life but it also created intense unhappiness that erupted in my body.

I wasn’t in control and my body knew it and I suppose deep down I must have known because I was so depressed. As someone who has been through the mill and has thankfully come out standing, I am blessed to have faced my demons. Being able to do that has changed my life.

For me, it was the classic case of a frog being boiled alive. I didn’t appreciate how much hot water I was in until I started therapy and it all came out. From my experience, I can say that if someone suffers from IBS or things like that, then they might be holding in a lot of shite too that needs to be sorted out in case it gets worse.”

I’d like to thank Diane for sharing her story.

Do you think stress might have influenced the environment that led to your IBS?

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If you'd like to leave a comment on this article, visit the article online here: IBS, Incontinence and Stress of a Bad Marriage
For personal help with your stress and health, you can find out about working with me.