Being let down by an expert can be dramatically stressful. Not only has it left you lighter in your pocket, it’s also betrayed two of your most precious values – your sense of fair play and your sense of trust.
When fundamental values are rocked, it affects your thinking and priorities.
In fact, you might know people so consumed by stress, negativity or rage that every waking moment is spent in throwing good money after bad or in getting legal revenge and compensation.
They lose sight of their own important relationships and are genuinely surprised (and increasingly stressed) when these relationships ultimately collapse.
Even when seeking compensation is appropriate, you need to do it in a way that does not hurt the other parts of your life. Remember that Stress is like mould, it doesn’t matter where it starts, it’s going to spread unless you nip it in the bud.
I’m fairly confident that you don’t want a builder or an estate agent to come between you and the important relationships in your life.
You can achieve this by not letting the incident get personal.
This is so important, I’ll say it again: Professional/Expert/Specialist negligence, thoughtlessness or incompetence is not a personal attack on you.
The Power of Emotional Disassociation
Your first priority in dealing with something like this is to stop seeing it as a personal attack or grievance. You do need to disassociate yourself emotionally from the situation.
Disassociation gives you the mental space to deal with a situation rationally and effectively.
Disassociating from negative events is often the first thing I help my clients to achieve. Once you’ve disassociated, you give yourself room to let positive mental energies circulate and these help introduce thoughts that actually help you rather than the ones that cause arguments between you and your family.
Even if the person has let you down deliberately, they’ve done it because of one of these “laws”:
- All professionals are not created equal. They have differing understanding, motivations, dedication, commitment, enthusiasm and pride
- Specialists are human and prone to making the odd mistake
Really, they couldn’t help themselves and they need to find their own way of overcoming whatever led them to make the mistake.
When you make something personal, you invest your emotions into it. Emotions are the currency of your mind and well-being – invest them wisely so they generate riches in all aspects of your life.
How have you been affected by poor service?