Tackling the kind of stress that causes health problems is a very personal undertaking that is unique to every person.
That’s why I ensure that everyone who approaches me for personal coaching has the opportunity to ask all the questions they want before enrolling onto their personal programme.
I’m currently arranging a house-move and a few days ago, I whipped off a series of quotation requests to a number of removal firms.
Out of all the firms I contacted, here’s what happened:
1) Two firms called to ask for an appointment to view the property so they could get an idea of the size of van and storage facilities that would be required.
2) One firm called, obviously reading from a call-centre script. They called in the middle of dinner and continued reading from the script even after I explained it was not a good time to talk.
3) Three firms just emailed a generic quote based on a “typical” move without considering my individual requirements or following up with a call.
4) Three firms haven’t responded to me.
Now here’s the interesting thing:
The two men who asked for an appointment were the owners of their removal company. As such, they had a vested interest in their goal of signing me up for their service. Both explained the entire process in detail and gave me an idea of the amount of storage space I would need. After each visit, I felt satisfied that I had been given the attention I needed.
Everyone else gave me the sense they were just going through the motions.
Own Your Mind, Body & Spirit
Stress invests a lot of time and energy in you – So return this favour!
Stress consumes your thoughts, weakens your immune system, generates health issues, clouds thinking, creates problems in relationships, causes strange decisions, behaviours and anxieties that disrupt your life…
Having a vested interest in your own health ultimately makes you the OWNER of your mind, body and spirit.
Having a vested interest means that your attitude and approach changes. You’re no longer content on relying on others to get round to looking after your needs. You’re more inclined to take the actions you need to take.
With coaching for example, where some people would simply go through the motions of coaching or therapy, you seize it and you use it to focus attention on your own individual needs so that the underlying stress becomes satisfied and therefore no longer remains as stress. It finds a way out.
Coaching and therapy are not things that are “done” to you – they become tools you use in achieving that goal you have a vested interest in – Better health and less stress.
Do you find you get better results when you have a vested interest in the outcome?
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Hi Reeta,
Having a vested interest in one’s well-being must surely mean taking responsibility for it. What about the people who don’t take responsibility because they ‘enjoy’ the payoff of abdicating it to someone or something else?
Taking responsibility means not having anyone to blame or engage in drama patterns that get attention from others.
In short – could it be that some people deliberately avoid taking a vested interest because they may cut off the attention from others that they crave (as dysfunctional as this may be)?
Best, Robin
Robin Dickinson´s last blog ..10 ways to sharpen your professional image
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Hi Robin
The secondary gain that people get from abdicating responsibility is something that many people don’t even think about because it happens at a level that has become so much a part of their identity that it feels natural and normal.
I remember a client once who started to get hot flushes after a few sessions when his behaviour started to change & he took on more ownership. It was a temporary transition thing that went away as his body and mind started to synchronise with his new-found self-empowerment.
You’re absolutely right that people do get into negative patterns because of their need for “attention” and other reasons, but I’m not sure that I would say that it is deliberate because deliberate implies that it’s a path they’ve consciously chosen.
I think in most cases, it’s more that they just don’t know that there is a different way to be. And if they do know that, then they don’t know *how* to achieve it.
It’s a really important point and I’m so glad you raised it – thank you!
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