When I left home and moved into my own house, my Mum came round and suggested that it might be time to be a bit of gardening.

I looked out of the window and couldn’t see anything apart from a few huge, bushy plants with little purple flowers. What weeds?

Technically, a weed is a plant growing somewhere where it is not wanted. The kind of weeds gardeners don’t like need next to no nurturing and rampage along pushing the plants you do want out of the way. They are strong enough to lift paving slabs.

Now, if a weed is a plant growing somewhere where it is not wanted, it stands to reason that a beautiful rose could also be considered a weed if it’s growing in your vegetable garden. I don’t know much about plants but I do know that some plants give out chemicals or something that attract certain pests or hinder the development of nearby plants.

So gardeners are skilled at grouping plants that complement each other.

Weeds in your mind

We have a similar thing going on in our minds. A quality that we consider really valuable turns into a nuisance when it’s in the vicinity of something giving out metaphorical chemicals that aren’t good for it.

For example, being considerate of other people is a fabulous quality. It’s a flower.  It implies respect and empathy.

But when you put it in the vicinity of say, a bullying boss, it becomes a weed if it stifles your ability to deal with the situation comfortably and with integrity. Other weeds like embarrassment, shame, self-doubt and fear also spring up very quickly and pretty soon, the garden of your mind is overgrown. You can’t move for weeds and your stress levels go through the roof, making you feel quite ill.

It’s time to do a bit of mental gardening.

The good news is that you already carry the plants that counteract the effects of the bullying boss (or whatever the problem is) – in this case, it might be masquerading as selfishness and you call it a weed and keep it locked down.

When you put it near the bullying boss and the now-weedy consideration-of-other-people, it suddenly takes on a new quality and becomes a flower! And the flower is called confidence.

Your Values

If you value being considerate, then you value other people being considerate of you. Although being selfish seems like the complete opposite of this, it’s a quality that allows you to consider yourself.

It’s a quality that stands up for your rights and under the right conditions, being selfish complements your consideration-of-other-people so that you are able to take action against the bullying boss with integrity!

You have lots and lots of plants in your mind right now – they masquerade as weeds and flowers but in reality, they are neither. They’re all assets that you can bring into play whenever you need to.

How do you see the weeds and flowers in your mind?

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