I love how subjects are so related… Just reading how your experiences help clients to process and then on the post about Role Models, Julie Walraven talks of how she has taken inspiration from what others do. http://reetaluthra.com/blog/2010/04/06/7-ways-role-models-reduce-stress-and-encourage-success/#comment-1025

It makes me think how over-helping & over-asking blocks/takes-away from the benefits of being or having a role model.

I can often recognise what’s going on for me in the moment and act accordingly, but sometimes I get caught. Not so much with enquiries, but with people I have an ongoing relationship with. But I will then tend to feel some unease after the event and will either self-supervise or take it to my supervisor for discussion. I can usually find a way to bring my experience up as a discussion point which can help the client’s process. Especially if, for example, they are unaware that they hook people into rescuing them, and in the process keep themselves locked in game.
Christine Livingston´s last blog ..Deviation From The Norm – My Different Kind Of Work

When people call to find out more, occassionally they’ll be in a real state of distress and teary as they talk about what is wrong.

I used to feel this rescue conflict between wanting to help someone in such obvious distress and the logic that it’s an enquiry call and not a session.

It took a simple solution – setting guidelines on how to handle enquiry calls.

Do you recognise your motivations “live” or after the event?

I guess what you’re talking about here is what the TA world calls “rescuing”? When one’s own needs get muddled up with the needs of the other?

I was curious about whether, in your professional experience, you ever question your own motivation for doing or saying something to check that you weren’t “rescuing”. And, if so, what you’ve done about it subsequently.