Procrastination is the curse of our good intentions.
There you are all fired up to lose a bit of weight or get a new job or start writing that book when suddenly a black hole descends and when you finally manage to clamber out of it, a whole day or a whole week or maybe even a whole year has gone by.
Procrastination is an emotional block to success and seems like a brick wall because emotions are generated by our subconscious mind, driving our response to the thoughts that we have.
When our emotions are in line with our logic, we can follow our logic very comfortably. But when there is a battle between logic and emotions, emotions usually win.
Stress and Procrastination
When we cannot identify with the result that we want, it’s harder for us to take steps to achieve it. So we procrastinate, not because we want to, but because procrastination is the path of least resistance.
Our well-being and our health suffers when procrastination becomes a way of life. We busy ourselves in pointless activities and fool ourselves that we have no time.
We are so immersed and strongly identifying with what we currently are that we don’t appreciate that our current state needs to change if we are to achieve that future we so desperately want.
We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them – Einstein
The stress of being in a state that we don’t want to be in takes its toll on our behaviour, self-esteem and self-image.
We can even train ourselves to NOT see opportunities!
I’m a member of several online social networks and forums and one of the behaviours I spot regularly goes something like this:
Person A: I’m having trouble with XXX – Please help me.
Person B: Here, read/talk to/do/eat this.
Person A: Wow, thank you
2 weeks later:
Person A: I’m having trouble with XXX – Please help me. (he hasn’t investigated anything previously suggested)
To change this path of least resistance so that we are able to recognise and act on our opportunities, we need our emotions to support our logic and our ambitions.
Do you find there are emotional reasons to your procrastinations?
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Perhaps part of the pay-off of procrastination is that it gives me something to talk about – some drama in my life. This way I at least get a bit of attention from those around me who are only too happy to share their ‘advice’.
Reeta?
Best as always. I really like your blog.
Robin
Robin Dickinson´s last blog ..What makes a mind truly great?
I can relate to the attention seeking side of procrastination too. More than that there is a fear that if I get what I want, I won’t know what to do with myself.
Hi Robin – and thanks! I really appreciate the time you take to jot down your thoughts and perspectives here
The attention you talk about – is this some kind of validation that then spurs you on to finish the task?
I ask because there’s that type of procrastination that occurs while you’re getting your thoughts together and building your resources. I think this type of procrastination is like the calm before the storm and doesn’t actually prevent you from going forward.
What do you think?
Hi Sharon – welcome to my blog and thanks for your comment!
I suspect that the “not knowing what you’ll do with yourself” is an umbrella term for some specific thoughts you may or may not be consciously aware of.
In my next post I am outlining the basic steps that I use when I am working with my clients to help them get behind the fear and establish stronger thinking patterns. Keep an eye out for it – I hope it helps you.
Thanks for your fast response, Reeta.
I have conversations with clients that seem to go round and round in circles.
They complain about a situation, but won’t take action to fix it.
The fact that when they are complaining, they are energised, intrigued – almost excited about the drama of the situation. Wondering what will happen next – eager to share the latest installment of the situation with anyone tuned into to their unfolding soap-opera.
Taking the action would stop this drama-fed intrigue.
Yes, a negative spiral. One I find more and more people in.
Shine on, Reeta.
Robin
Robin Dickinson´s last blog ..What makes a mind truly great?
That’s reminded me of when I first started doing therapy and coaching and fell into the trap of helping friends (without being asked) when they started complaining.
I quickly discovered they didn’t want help – they wanted to complain!
To save the friendships, we have this unspoken agreement now – They don’t go overboard with their complaining to me and I don’t volunteer help!
Reeta,
So glad to have found your blog – very good post. I used to procrastinate – mostly around school work, and I think a lot of that was low self-confidence, and a fear of succeeding. It was much easier, more comfortable to be an underachiever than to step out into the light. How did I get over it? I am not really sure, though in grad school, I was very motivated to succeed, to the point that I did institute new behaviors – which is what I do now, which is taking things a step at a time, making progress slowly over time instead of all at once the night before an assignment is due.
I really like what you said about emotions and logic have to coincide. Emotion does rule all. So if we are feeling ood about ourselves, and in alignment with our values when we undertake a task, then we are much more likely to move forward. But if there’s a psychological block…I guess that could take many forms. Mine was fear of success, Robin mentions the need for drama. If we aren’t taking action, there’s something else we want more. Staying stuck. A different path. It may be negative, or it may be positive, but it’s informaiton, if we pay attention.
Thank you for a fascinating conversation.
Best,
Linda
Thanks Reeta, I’ll look forward to it!
Hi Linda – really nice to see you here
What you say about motivation and paying attention is key to overcoming not only procrastination, but also the other unhelpful feelings we get – like jealousy, guilt and anger.
Everyone has a different way of doing things – I’m a night-before-the-assignment person and enjoy the intensity and drama. But taking things a step at a time is more effective but dull (to me).
I agree that paying attention to the messages of the information being fed to us through our feelings helps us achieve a workable balance between what we want and what works.
It is fascinating and thanks so much for contributing to the conversation.