March 24th, 2010 by Reeta Luthra
Juggling responsibilities is a way of life for most of us. So much to do, so little time.
I had an interesting conversation with Michael, a man who did some work on my house today.
Michael is a school governor and through his duties, he gets to spend a lot of time with Year 6 children (that’s eleven year olds).
He said that just through the way the kids behave and talk, he can tell which kids come from a single parent family, which kids have two working parents and which kids have a stay at home mother.
Michael talked in terms of the children crying out for time, attention and understanding.
External behaviours reflect our internal emotions and conflicts
From the work that I do, I know that many, many people harbour unresolved conflicts, pain and hurt from their childhood, directly related to their parents.
However, childhood hurt and pain is not the exclusive domain of single parent families and shouldn’t be seen as such. Behavioural issues and emotional stress occurs in the more traditional homes too.
When Michael talks about Time, Attention and Understanding as qualities that a child yearns for, this is what resonates with my own experience with things my clients tell me about their childhood memories and experiences.
I think being a parent is fabulously rewarding, yet tough. After all, you are imprinting your own values onto a mind that questions them and mixes and matches them against values he is forming himself through his interactions with the world around him.
What are your thoughts about this? How do you provide time, attention and understanding to your child?
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Wow, Reeta – it sounds like those three things are important for all of us.
After reading your post, I’ve been sitting here thinking of how I can give more time, attention and understanding to all of the people in my circle of life. It’s a really positive nudge you’ve given me.
Thank you.
Time, attention and understanding. Yes, I must act on this.
Best, Robin

Robin Dickinson´s last blog ..Business success interview with Andrew Dickinson
Hi Reetha
Somehow you seem to write about subjects I am dealing with on the same day! I stayed at home with my kids for the first 6 years of their lives,they’re twins, and I’m around physically with them alot,but sometimes I ask myself how much of that time am I really present?
Food for thought…meanwhile trying to be aware of `all the different needs I am trying to fill…
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Hello Robin – You’re absolutely right of course! It goes beyond children and applies to everyone. I know I would benefit from giving more time, attention and understanding too.
As Yael says in her comment, it’s to do with being present in the moment.
And as you mentioned in your reply to my comment on your excellent technology post, there are so many exciting distractions around! http://www.radsmarts.com/2010/03/how-technology-is-changing-people/
How are we to get the balance right? (and get enough sleep!)
Hi Yael – It means a lot to me that you are getting value from my writing
I like what you say about being present in the moment. It’s goes a long way to helping us in setting our priorities.
Thank you for your comment.