Although we know that we need to make a change in our lives, often we remain stuck because we can’t get a fix on just what it is that we have to do.

Action is what makes change happen – but action for action’s sake could leave you no better off than you are now.

To build habits that align us with the life we want to live, we need to be comfortable enough with ourselves to explore not only our core inner potentials, hopes and desires but also the darker areas that we try not to think about too much.

Because our personal hopes and ambitions can become buried, or at least hidden, under the combination of day-to-day living and other people’s expectations, we need a way of checking in with ourselves regularly in order to fan the flame of our own commitment to our own life.

This set of questions – incorporated into your daily thinking – will provide insights to support new habits that change your life.

1. What does happiness look like?

So often, we pursue happiness without appreciating that it is a process and not a “thing” – you already know this of course, but that doesn’t stop many of us from hoping that one day we’ll find this thing called happiness.

Define what happiness means to you – in all the various aspects of your life.

Think about your interpretation of happiness in terms that pull you towards the feeling, as opposed to focusing on the feelings that tell you that you’re not happy.

As you start to think regularly about the happiness feeling, you’ll train yourself into taking more of the decisions that invite this feeling into your life naturally.

2. What are you doing with your relationships?

The relationships we have with our friends, families and colleagues can tell us a lot about the way we view, treat and sabotage ourselves.

Are you nourishing your relationships? Are you shaping them into perhaps becoming subserviant or controlling? Are you allowing them to become fragmented, draining or stagnant? Examine your reasons for this.

It is said that you become a reflection of the 5 people you are closest to and spend most of your time with. Is this true for you? And is this reflection the one that you want to see in yourself?

3. Who do you need to forgive?

Forgiveness is the opposite of anger. These two powerful forces at opposite ends of the same spectrum are separated by ugly obstacles lying between them. Things you don’t want to go near so you stay put in the “safety” of your anger.

In my experience, forgiveness is not about accepting what happened. It’s about learning and personal growth and inner peace. When you speak to people who are dying, generally they don’t want to hold on to past hurts. They’ve experienced a paradigm shift making them realise that the wrongs are simply not important anymore.

You can chip away at the obstacles lying between you and forgiveness by taking a look at what these obstacles are made of. Is it your ego or your pride? Is it shame or failure? Is it other people’s expectations? Is it a sense of injustice? Being able to face these questions, together with the thoughts that arise from them, guides you to experiencing a paradigm shift of your own.

Working at these questions will give you a great headway into transforming the quality of your life.

They’re not the only questions of course and they always need to be backed with acting on what you learn.

What questions, thoughts or experiences have helped you make a profound change in your life?

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